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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24572080">eat the darkness until it bleeds daylight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceaniads/pseuds/oceaniads'>oceaniads</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, astronomy nerd talks, daichi is a bit stupid but very much in love, for science and also for romance, soft gay energy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:07:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,119</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24572080</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceaniads/pseuds/oceaniads</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>daichi sleeps with his cheek pressed against an astronomy textbook. there is a disposition of moles under suga’s left ribcage that equals the andromeda constellation. or so daichi thinks.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>eat the darkness until it bleeds daylight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>uhhh, this is my first fic in this fandom. i didnt finish reading yet (just got past the inarizaki vs karasuno match) but i love these characters so much and ugh i love suga so much, so here i am.</p><p>title is inspired by the quote "got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight", by bruce cockburn.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>daichi sleeps with his cheek pressed against an astronomy textbook. there is a disposition of moles under suga’s left ribcage that equals the andromeda constellation. or so daichi thinks. he only saw it on glimpses — the moles; the constellation he researched so as to commit to memory — in rushed exchanges of jerseys or waiting for a shower to vacate so he could purify himself from the smell of sweat and volleyball and standing so close to suga in court that both went for the ball at the same time and collided, suga’s body heavy and solid and real on top of him.</p><p>he did not mind that.</p><p>he wants to take a closer look. scientific purposes. he wants to know the temperature of his body as they stands much too close for comfort. he would bring the textbook, put it on top of suga’s belly, rising and falling with his breath. count the stars, fourteen too brilliant for their own good, too brilliant they can melt your eyes out. suga has melted more parts of daichi than he would dare list.</p><p><em> here</em>, he would say, his fingers hovering over the southernmost mole/star. <em> alpheratz. </em> but suga does not sleep with his cheek pressed against astronomy textbook, as there's no constellation painted by a lesser god on daichi’s body for him to dream about. and even if there was. so he would ask. <em> what the fuck is an alpheratz? </em> and daichi would answer. <em> the brightest star. andromeda's head. </em></p><p>he does not ask for any of these things. instead, he walks suga back to his house, their ears filled with the chirping of crickets hiding in the tall grass. from their mouths, silence. daichi wishes he was anyone but himself. he closes his fingers into a fist, holding the straps of his courier bag. suga looks at him funny, opens his mouth, closes it. opens it again.</p><p>“anything the matter?”</p><p><em> yes</em>, daichi thinks. <em> you</em>. “no.”</p><p>he does not press. daichi thinks it's beautiful, the way suga gives him space to breathe, to fall back into himself and then put the parts of him that tried to flee into their respective places again.</p><p>he thinks it's beautiful, for otherwise he wouldn't be able to hold it back, and he does not want to be faced with suga's frown on the middle of the street, open and vulnerable. he does not want to be faced with refusal. </p><p>once they stayed back in the locker room of karasuno’s volleyball club because suga took too much time into his shower and just when they had readied themselves, a downpour came by, unannounced. suga wanted to play in the rain. daichi thought it was stupid but went anyway, because he was suga's captain only in court and nowhere else. and then suga kissed him as thunder boomed somewhere far, hands clammy from rain and anxiety, daichi’s hands traveling up his shirt, almost there—but never reaching. longing. like he somehow knew that wasn't the right time.</p><p>he did not want to think about it in the other day, face sullen and eyes downcast. <em> it's better if we just forget about it</em>, he said without knowing why. <em> that's fine</em>, suga said, and daichi was looking at the pebbles in the way so he could not have seen the way suga's eyes did that thing where they bare his soul for the world for a brief instant. now he couldn't even say he regretted it. now the deal was settled. now they had put a stone over it.</p><p>andromeda too was chained to a stone, though it was her mother's fault, not hers. the seafoam licking her feet hungrily await for the high tide. suga loves long days in the beach at summer, stretched under the sun until his skin is too hot to touch, too hot to be inside of. as if he successfully managed to trap a sunray or two within itself. as if he managed to eat it—heat. or light.</p><p>unlike andromeda, he would not need rescue, would not need daichi to fly by on his winged horse with medusa’s head clearing the way. suga would find a way to unchain himself, pick up the fucking magical sword and kill cetus himself, walk back to the castle to lecture his parents himself. daichi had never let himself be fooled into thinking suga needed him. a candle needs fire to be lit. stars, however, shine by themselves.</p><p>it must be all showing in his face, because suga stares, with his eyes like liquid amber, a celestial body of his own making, and then he smiles. mind reading or witchcraft. daichi laughs, in the hopes that it'll shake the shadow of things he will not allow himself off his shoulders. a car passes by them and honks loudly; suga waves to the driver; shines. daichi feels another piece of him melting; does not mind.</p><p>they stop in front of suga's home. both shuffling their feet. overgrown kids or small adults. somewhere along the middle. </p><p>“safely delivered.”</p><p>“with a mailman like you, one does wonder.” suga says, the corners of his mouth lifted into a smile. daichi hopes andromeda also had a wicked sense of humor. nonetheless, suga does not say goodbye, so daichi does not leaves, the black of his hair shining with the moonlight. not a star, but star-like. “you want to come in?”</p><p>a pause. suga always comes into daichi's house to study, never the other way around. if the axis of the earth suddenly shifted below his feet, would he be able to feel it? or would he stay like that, unmoving as if he had seen medusa’s decaying head?</p><p>perseus is, simply put, just another stupid boy. it’s andromeda that makes all the good plays in this one.</p><p>“yes.”</p><p>the smile changes into a smirk. starlight, sunlight. he knows the sun is just another star in the sky, not even the biggest or the brightest one. some information do not taste like truth, no matter how much time you spent drilling in into your head. “my parents aren't home.”</p><p>he closes his hand around daichi's neck. <em> choose</em>. suga does not, of course, does that for real. but daichi can feel it. he doesn't remember a day when breathing felt so easy.</p><p>“what are we waiting for, then?”</p><p>suga leads the way, a hand extended in daichi's direction. he takes it—would like to tell those nasa scientists that it is possible for a human to touch a living star. reads the room, though. reads the constellation of moles under koushi’s right ribcage when he takes his shirt off, his mouth kissing the fourteen of them, and forgets about astronomy for a while.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the last time i wrote a fic in this style was... before 2015? damn im more rusty than i thought</p></blockquote></div></div>
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